Here are some snippets of this weeks sketches. These are experiments with character appearance and by no means any representation of the final product. I think the name of my book will just be something along the lines of “Gabriel and Carmen,” but that may also be subject to change, as you would expect. I will endeavour to provide a weekly post of my sketches, to give you a snippet of my progress.
The thought of, “do I want this book published?” often pops into my mind. I don't know. I think I will know that answer once I have much more of a draft. I'm finding it so fun just writing snippets of the book in no particular order. I don't have a complete story in my head, just an idea of a story. The fine details come when I sit and think about it, and I am so surprised how easily those details do come.
I have been pondering my past as an artist, and how I have always tried to work words into my pictures. Like I need to explain everything, and leave no mystery. My major thing is though, I can't create unless it has a meaning and purpose. There is a moral to my story. I can't help but feel through creating this I am sharing part of my spirit. In saying this though, I have let myself be open to criticism and suggestion and I want to take on these things with grace. I am not an expert. I want to learn.
What a beautiful journey I am starting. For some reason I am inspired to write a children’s book. I thought I would give it a go, for fun, but also a challenge in practicing self discipline. So be prepared for an onslaught of drawings, ramblings and also pleadings for advice. I have never done this before. I do not know If I have a talent for writing. But I have an idea that will not leave me alone. I have set a deadline for myself, but also an ample amount of time. Here is one of my first sketches. Saint John the Baptist is who I have chosen to ask for intersession for this story. I will reveal more of why at a later time.
I had my first ever psych appointment yesterday, and it was very interesting. She took me for a walk around the block while we had a big chat. She believes I am doing very well, and that my condition is much more biological than anything, so not so much as a part of my personality. She had some great tips, and also suggested CBT if it is something I feel that I need. I have not decided yet. The meds have fixed almost everything so far. I can cope much easier. I am happy most of the time. I am positive. I haven’t had an anxiety attack since before my last post. I feel normal. The side effects of the med have almost ceased as well. I don’t know why I am so blessed that this is working! I hear such horror stories about antidepressants.
As I am journeying along navigating what it means to actually have depression, and also feeling the wonderful effects of the antidepressants so far, I am making an effort to create art again.
It has been months and months since I have created anything at all as motivation for anything was dwindling. I was trying hard to make sure that the basics were taken care of first.
I am not ashamed of the depression, and have no fear in saying that is apart of my life. It does not mean I am a selfish person and it does not mean my faith in God is too weak. I will give small updates on my progress, hopefully with more drawings. I wasn’t sure if my blog was going to end up something where I write about my personal life again, but I feel drawn to do so.